Are you sick of having one-sided relationships?

When codependency is a problem in your relationships, you are everyone's superhero but your own. Saying no and setting boundaries is almost impossible because you can't risk disappointing people. You give until it hurts.

You may have a family member struggling with addiction but not always. You may attract people who need rescuing or who are emotionally unavailable. Having a huge heart, have trouble saying no and asserting yourself in relationships are common struggles.

Codependency begins in childhood as a coping mechanism to survive abuse and neglect. You may have grown up with a raging or narcissistic parent. Your needs probably took a back seat to the adult’s needs. Being a kid meant not getting your needs met or being allowed to play and enjoy life.

In relationships, you often please others and neglect yourself but being helpful comes at a price; you likely struggle with fear, resentment and overwhelm. Putting other’s first may work for awhile but it gets exhausting. As a result, you don't have much time for yourself but you can't justify taking any either.

Self-care is not something that comes easily for you. In fact, you’re probably way better at knowing what other people need than what you need. This leaves you feeling lonely and resentful which is sadly common.

You may be asking yourself…what is codependency?

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a pattern of behaviors where you focus on others at your own expense. This creates an unhealthy dependency on others where you look to others for the love and validation you cannot give to yourself. These codependent patterns make relationships one-sided with you doing all the heavy lifting. You give until it hurts.

These codependent patterns form in childhood and continue into adulthood because they helped you cope in your dysfunctional family.

Find out if the best way to help is to take care of yourself in an unmanageable situation. Getting the right support for codependency recovery makes a difference.

You don't have to suffer alone. You can learn how to take care of yourself without being selfish.

Overcoming codependency takes work but uncovering your own codependent symptoms can be the missing piece of the relationship puzzle.

How I can help you overcome codependency

We will start where you are! There is no wrong way to start healing from codependency. Recognizing your unique dance of codependency is how we start. No judgment, no “shoulding yourself”. We have to recognize the problem before tackling the solution right?

The good news - once you understand what your codependent behavior looks like, it’s easier to start the process of recovery because we go with where you’re the most motivated to heal.

Together we will work on how to redirect the focus back onto you, rather than always being hyper-focused on helping, controlling or rescuing others. This does not mean that you stop giving, but it means learning how to give a little (or a lot) less. And learning how to sit still in the meantime.

A huge piece of healing from codependency is being willing to cultivate a connection with yourself. Yep, that’s not the sexy, fun part BUT it DOES make a huge difference.

You may feel emotionally and physically drained by taking care of others. Practicing good self-care, setting boundaries and saying no are all important for you as well as for your children.

Additional resources for codependency recovery

Codependent counseling often involves group support like attending 12 step programs like Al-Anon or CODA. These are free meetings mostly on Zoom since the pandemic.

Together, 12 step meetings and codependency therapy can be the perfect combination for overcoming codependency. In therapy, you get the individualized support you need, in 12 step meetings, you’ll get a community that truly supports you.

If that's not for you, that's okay. We'll practice these concepts and valuable tools in session so that you can start to identify your codependent behaviors and take baby steps to get back to your own life.

You deserve to get your needs met too.

Do you struggle with codependent behaviors like...

Getting into relationships that don't work?
Not knowing what you want and need?
Being generous and giving to a fault?
Feeling compelled to help or fix others?
Feel stuck in resentment and can't get out?
Low self esteem or feeling right all the time?
Unexpressed anger that is leaking out?
Setting limits and being able to say no?

It takes courage to start codependency recovery when you’re the one helping everyone else. You deserve to get relief so that you can enjoy life too.

What does codependency recovery look like?

Codependency recovery involves a few different processes. First, it means to get the focus off of others and slowly start looking at how to better take care of yourself. This takes time but with the right support you will be able to make steady progress.

Second, you will need to learn relationship skills like setting boundaries, direct communication, problem solving and managing emotions to name a few.

Lastly, there will be a time when it’s important to examine your childhood and what has contributed to your own codependent patterns. While this is a life-long process, you can get relief. Realize that you are not alone! There is help and hope for you!

Not sure? That’s okay, why not stay in touch in the meantime! Click here to get my 12 Writing Prompts for Self-care, Boundaries and Codependency.

Please email me or click the button below for a free 15 minute phone consultation.